I am a ghost
Normally, I am d'accord with Bukowski on solitude: you get so alone sometimes that it just makes sense.
But sometimes, once in awhile, I regret it when I walk into the atrium of that law school and realize how my family responsibilities have isolated me from my fellow students. There are precious few that I call friends, and even those are often surrounded by so many strangers that I am too daunted to approach.
SOMETIMES with one I love, I fill myself with rage, for fear I effuse unreturn’d love;
But now I think there is no unreturn’d love—the pay is certain, one way or another;
(I loved a certain person ardently, and my love was not return’d;
Yet out of that, I have written these songs.)
-ww
Sometimes I remind me of Ellison's Invisible Man.
2 Comments:
I started my first two years of law school, while working an overnight shift at a facility for at-risk youth. This took me out of the day-day with the classmates as well, I only had my boyfriend, who was a year ahead of me...to give me any law school people stimulation. Perhaps this is another reason why it has taken me 3 years to complete that last year...
I feel for you.
Ah, and I for you. Who knows that plight like a fellow outcast, no?
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