Wait for it...
In the NFL Roundup at ESPN.com:
A Jets fan upset by the team's playoff loss to the Steelers put kicker Doug Brien on eBay, where bidding reached $99,999,999 before the auction was removed from the site, according to the New York Daily News.
Neil Drake offered to throw in offensive coordinator Paul Hackett for free.
"We don't want him, so let's see if someone else will take him," the 20-year-old community college student told the Daily News.
The online auction service has a policy against listing people for sale.
That's like reading to the end of a piece about competition for UPS and finding, "UPS has a policy against engaging in acts of piracy." A policy?