In case my wife hasn't told you yet

A preemptive strike.

As I mentioned, I've been working lots of nights and going to bed between four and six A.M. My daughter Frost still has to get up for school at 6:30, and getting her ready was always my job during the school year, a job which Sharon graciously took over so that I could sleep for more than an hour at night.

This morning, though, the alarm was going off and I woke up first, whereupon, in my exhausted state, I proceeded to spend five minutes trying to turn it down with the television remote control.

My wife, perhaps enjoying herself a little too much, said something like, "What are you doing?" I replied something like, "I can't get it to shut off," and then responded to further entreaties with "I don't even know what you are talking about right now," and further finger mashing on the remote.

After the longest two or three minutes of my life, she put me out of my misery and shut the blasted thing off. Anyway, if she hasn't told you yet (and she's told everyone, it seems), this is my side of the story.